Spider-Man has always been one of the most likable Marvel Comics characters but J. Jonah Jameson hardly ever sees the good in him. The Daily Bugle boss has always seen the web-slinger as a nuisance, causing him to always go on rants about him.
In all Spider-Man media, some of the best J. Jonah Jameson quotes have come from the version portrayed by J. K. Simmons in live-action. However, on the Marvel pages, the character has equally dished out perfect quotes on the regular too.
10/10 “I’ll Probably Be Asked To Join The Avengers! But, I’ll Prove My Modesty By Declining!”
Amazing Spider-Man #25: Story by Stan Lee/ Art by Steve Ditko/ Letters by Sam Rosen
With the help of Spencer Smythe, Jameson uses a Spider-slayer robotic prototype to try to capture Spider-Man. He also makes sure to boast about his greatness before he even achieves his mission.
Jameson is indeed delusional for thinking the Avengers will warm up to him and offer him membership after catching one of their own. Still, the remarks are golden because they not only stress his excitement at getting to play hero, but they’re also right in line with Jameson’s personality as someone who always thinks highly of himself.
9/10 “Open The Safe And Give Parker One Of My Own Personal Bars Of Milk Chocolate!”
Amazing Spider-Man #15: Story by Stan Lee/ Art by Steve Ditko/ Letters by Artie Simek
J. Jonah Jameson is thrilled when Peter Parker manages to take pictures of one of the most iconic Spider-Man villains, Chameleon. Jameson lets Peter know he deserves a bonus, only to order Miss Brant to give him bars of chocolate.
As one of the meanest Marvel characters, it’s no surprise to see J. Jonah Jameson give Peter chocolate rather than cash or a high value gift. He has always been quick to condemn, but never been one to appreciate the efforts of those he works with. Additionally, Jameson’s actions highlight his perception of Peter, who he considers a child with nothing important to spend money on.
8/10 “It’s About Time Someone Points Out How Much Good I’ve Done For This City.”
Amazing Spider-Man (Vol 5) #11: Story by Nick Spencer/ Art by Ryan Ottley, Cliff Rathburn, and Laura Martin/ Letterers by Joe Caramagna
J. Jonah Jameson dances in celebration when he’s informed that Mayor Fisk plans to give him a Lifetime Achievement Award. Jameson then insists that Spider-Man be the one to introduce him.
By constantly harassing Spider-Man, Jameson has definitely done worse for the city than good. It’s no coincidence that he only gets the award soon after he starts praising the web-slinger. However, according to Jameson, he has always been an upstanding citizen, hence his opinion that the award was long overdue.
7/10 “Mustn’t Die Before Spider-Man…Mustn’t Die…Before Spider-Man”
Amazing Spider-Man #592: Story by Mark Waid/ Art by Mike McKone, Andy Lanning, and Jeromy Cox/ Letters by Joe Caramagna
During his time as mayor, J. Jonah Jameson became infuriated when his long-lost dad, JJ Jameson Sr., who is arguably one of the worst comic book fathers, showed up at his office. When Spider-Man arrived too, Jameson became so flustered that he struggled to breathe.
Having the two people he hates the most, all in the same room, was clearly too much for Jameson to bear. Since he considered himself better than the web-slinger, Jameson tried hard to mask his discomfort. Luckily, Jameson managed to compose himself and go about his usual rants.
6/10 “Take It Off, And I Change “Implicated” To “Exonerated”!”
Peter Parker: Spider-Man #45: Story by Paul Jenkins/ Art by Humberto Ramos and Wayne Faucher/ Letters by Richard Starkings
When a wave of crime commences in New York City, Jameson is quick to publish stories implying that Spider-Man is the culprit. The web-slinger thus confronts the Daily Bugle, only for Jameson to give a condition.
Throughout the history of Spider-Man comics, Jameson’s biggest wish has always been to see the face behind the mask. Jameson’s desperation pushes him to blackmail, and even though the offer he makes is sensible, he doesn’t get his wish because Spider-Man’s moral compass doesn’t allow him to make such a deal.
5/10 “Comic Books? Do They Still Publish That Trash? It Can Rot Your Mind.”
Amazing Spider-Man #552: Story by Bob Gale/ Art by Phil Jimenez, Andy Lanning, and Jeremy Cox/ Letters by Cory Petit
J. Jonah Jameson gets hospitalized after a heart attack and the doctors suggest he keeps off things likely to cause further stress like newspapers and books. They suggest comic books, but Jameson wildly protests.
It’s a fun way for Marvel to throw shade at itself. At the same time, it’s also a way to highlight Jameson’s tastes and preferences. For someone who has worked in the media industry for a long time, nothing matters more than the news.
4/10 “Who The &#*% Are The Young Avengers?”
Young Avengers #1: Story by Allan Heinberg/ Art by Jim Cheung, John Dell, and Justin Ponsor/ Letters by Cory Petit
Jameson is surprised to learn that there is yet another superhero team known as the Young Avengers. Curious, he assigns Kat and Jessica to find them. Few things irk Jameson more than superheroes, and learning about yet another group almost drives him over the edge.
Jameson’s lack of information about the Young Avengers isn’t odd since it hasn’t always been one of Marvel’s major superhero teams. As bothered as he is, the opportunistic Jameson still seizes the chance to publish a great story.
3/10 “No-Good, Wall-Crawling Misfit… Get Off My Building!”
Spider-Man Human Torch #3: Story by Dan Slott/ Art by Ty Templeton and Mark Nelson/ Letters by Dave Lanphear
Spider-Man becomes excited when he receives his Spider-Mobile, going as far as to drive on the walls of the Daily Bugle building. As expected, the web-slinger’s action gets on Jameson’s nerves.
J. Jonah Jameson finding out that Spider-Man is engaging in yet another form of mischief has always been a running gag in Marvel Comics. Watching him almost fall out of the window while yelling at Spidey is as hilarious as it is pitiful, but it’s moments like this that make the relationship between the two so special.
2/10 “Turn On The TV. Go Online. Pick Up A Newspaper.”
Civil War II: Choosing Sides #3: Story by Ming Doyle/ Art by Stephen Byrne/ Letters by Clayton Cowles
At the beginning of the second civil war, Jameson gives a monologue about the importance of news. He also orders his employees to be on their toes because this is going to be one of the biggest events in history.
The second civil war isn’t as iconic as some of Marvel’s other memorable comic events, but J. Jonah Jameson naturally wants to seize the opportunity to boost the Daily Bugle’s ratings and newspaper sales. Even though his words portray him as the ultimate capitalist, they also reveal just how passionate Jameson is about journalism.
1/10 “I’m Surrounded By Idiots, Incompetents, And Assassins.”
Amazing Spider-Man #279: Story by Tom DeFalco/ Art by Rick Leonardi, Vince Colletta, and Bob Sharen/ Letters by Joe Rosen
When Silver Sable International announces its seeking Spider-Man’s services and is willing to pay him handsomely, the Daily Bugle’s Director of Advertising is quick to run their ad. This doesn’t go down well with Jameson. It’s one of Jameson’s most hilarious rants, especially since he adds the irrelevant “assassins” part.
As Jameson scolds the director, several things about his personality are highlighted. The first and obvious one is that Jameson never wishes to see Spider-Man prosper. The second is that Jameson loves both profits and his company since he quickly lets the issue slide once he learns Silver Sable paid double the premium.
NEXT: 10 Things That Prove J. Jonah Jameson Isn’t All Bad